Cryaotic

(WARNING: general horror)

Secrets. They are a fundamental part of our lives and sometimes they are the only things that keep us sane. I know a lot of people think I don’t have any secrets but I do. The part that really sucks is my secrets keep secrets even from me. I only wish I could forget it all at times.

Everyone thinks I’m just your average guy and I swear that I can be. My secret is the only thing that makes me a little less normal than others. I don’t expect you to understand what I go through. How could you? No one else sees them and no one else hears them. No one else has the pressure of constantly being watched even when you want to be alone. Each one is very different but they are all a huge part of my life that I can’t imagine being without. You want to hear about them?

Well the first one I call Mad. It’s the only name that I could think of that fits his personality. It doesn’t seem right to call him by anything else. He’s the one who is the most violent. He screams and hits and pulls a person apart just for the fun of it. He makes me hurt people. I hate him sometimes but I also can’t bear the thought of him hating me. He may be violent but he also protects me from everyone. He keeps our secrets safe so no one can hurt us. I love him for that. He keeps me from losing my mind from holding everything in all the time. He was my very first friend and probably always will be.

The next one I like to call Virus. He’s so different from Mad. In some ways he seems more dangerous. Mad hurts others where Virus likes to play with them. He always talks about collecting the things he likes and I still don’t understand what that means. Maybe it’s better he keeps that secret from me though. He’s not as violent as Mad is with me but I still don’t like how cold he is. He’s distant even when he is protecting me. However it’s not always a bad thing. He’s the calm one that knows how to keep us all out of trouble. He helps me think clearly and figure out what needs to be said and done.

The last name is better left to her sex, Fem. She’s a handful like the others but in a very different way. She isn’t violent with anyone really. She even manages to keep Mad and Virus from hurting me too badly. She’s such an amazing creature and some part of me can’t help but crave her. I know it’s not right to say something like that but she just draws me in. Her smile, her scent, the way she looks at me leaves me feeling so empty without her. I don’t know if she feels the same though. It’s irritating how she always seems to cloud my judgement and sometimes she acts weird with my friends. Too friendly is the nicest way to put it. I only wish I could see her more.

Anyway, I better get going. I have games to play and record. They've been pestering me all day and honestly I don’t mind. My secrets are exactly that and now you know a small part of them. Maybe later I’ll tell you more about them. Like I said earlier I really am very normal. They always tell me so.